The Broken Path
by scarysamgirl
Summary: Harry leaves Ginny in a fit of heartbroken rage. She has misunderstood him for too long. But in his sadness he finds someone he does not expect. Luna Lovegood, not the girl Harry knew, but a broken bird with a new tragic sort of grace. Through love and war, they will destroy all who hurt them and maybe save all of the children in magical Britain while they're at it.
1. The Forest of Dean

**Chapter One:** The Forest of Dean

Later Harry would say it was because of the questions. The never-ending questions, that no matter how polite or cruel he was he could not escape. That wasn't the truth, but it was the easiest answer when asked the questions of why he decided to leave, what started all of this, what made him decide to go on a trip. The reality was he'd left because of a mixture of things. The questions were only one part of it. The other parts were more complicated.

But how could he explain that he had to leave because Ginny didn't understand what it meant when he said he needed to be alone? How could he explain the lack of silence in his mind? And the way his thoughts raced so quickly he saw the entire war flash through his mind sometimes several times in one day? How could he tell anyone that Ron and Hermione, though they'd been there, had not ever truly understood why Harry could not see the sun ever again in the same way they could? And how that had become less and less of something to be understood than something to be envied and resented?

How could he explain he'd realized he needed the trip? Needed it more than he needed a flat with Ginny in London or an Auror position at the Ministry or even a good counsellor? The truth was, once he'd decided to go on the trip, he could think of little else and, though he tried more than once to reason himself out of it, it truly sounded like the right thing to do.

What had finally made him decide to leave was not, however, anything that flipped in his own mind. It was the night he finally snapped on Ginny.

She'd come home late one night from Quidditch practice. She'd very quickly gotten a place on the Hollyhead Harpies all-women Quidditch team after the war. She'd wanted to get back out into the world. Her way of moving on was literally moving on, pretending what had happened never had and not talking about it. This was another one of the reasons this happened: Harry needed to talk about it and Ginny had forbidden it.

The very first day they'd moved into the London flat – that Harry had not wanted to move into and had regretted agreeing to it from the moment the word "yes" had left his lips – Ginny had turned around on the spot, setting the box she'd been holding down on the floor before she did so. When she finished spinning, she clutched Harry's lapels and kissed him. When she pulled away, she said, "This place is perfect. We can forget about everything here and begin our lives as adult wizards!"

She said this excitedly and, at the time, a part of Harry had truly believed her. Maybe here he could forget about the past, he could move on, he could do exactly what she was suggesting. However, as the months passed and his nightmares didn't go away and he kept putting off applying for an Auror position, it became clearer and clearer to both himself and Ginny that that wasn't going to happen.

Ginny grew annoyed with him, telling him if he just didn't think about it and applied for an Auror position like he wanted that his problems would all go away, but that was the problem to begin with. Harry couldn't find it in himself to care about finding work or applying for a job, but at the same time, when faced with the prospect, he knew he couldn't just apply for something he would hate. Then he'd never go anyway.

It was when he'd had this realization that he'd suddenly become terrified. If he couldn't work, what was he going to do? Ginny couldn't do this all on her own and, while wizards tended to live off the Muggle grid, they still needed income of some sort. They had to buy groceries at Muggle stores and for that they still needed wizarding money to change to Muggle money at Gringotts for their grocery shopping.

As they had to start living more and more frugally, Ginny became less and less patient with Harry's inability to work. She frequently tried to guilt him into it or explain to him that she couldn't be doing this all on her own and while Harry understood and agreed with her, he still couldn't figure out how to explain what was holding him back.

The pressure became too much. Ginny's nagging, his own self-loathing, the realization there was something so broken in him he could not work. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore and he snapped. Harry left the flat one morning and wandered around Muggle London. On impulse, he stopped at the Leaky Cauldron and did something he'd never done before: he ordered a drink. He wasn't even sure what it was called. He hadn't really looked at the menu when he'd pointed the title out to Tom the bartender, but when he finished the first drink, he ordered another. And another. And another.

Harry hadn't ever really been drunk before, but he decided very quickly that he liked the feeling. He vaguely wondered if wizarding alcohol was different from Muggle alcohol, but also decided quickly he didn't particularly care. He stayed at the Leaky Cauldron until the pub closed and then he went home. He didn't know if he could buy alcohol from Tom or if the Leaky Cauldron even sold alcohol you could take with you, but Harry was plenty drunk enough by the time Tom asked him politely to leave.

Stumbling home, Harry didn't know what time it was. He knew it was dark out and he knew that it seemed to take him twice as long to get home as usual. When he flipped on the lights, Ginny was sitting there looking livid. When she saw the state he was in, her fury increased.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" she asked, sounding surprisingly calm despite how thinly pressed her lips were.

Harry didn't answer. He couldn't see a clock anywhere. He felt it was pretty obvious he had no idea what the time was. However, he had the good sense not to say this.

"It's almost midnight, Harry," Ginny said, sounding exasperated when he didn't answer her. "Midnight! I've been home, _waiting_ for you, for six hours. And now that you're finally home, I find out you've been out getting drunk? What the hell else have you been doing?"

Again, Harry didn't answer. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to explain himself. He didn't know how to tell Ginny that she didn't understand him without making her angrier. He didn't know how to get her to actually listen to him. He heard her yelling at him, but he didn't really register the words. He just felt his own fury and outrage and envy increase, until he shouted, "DO YOU REALLY THINK I LIKE BEING THIS WAY?!"

He was so loud Ginny stopped speaking immediately.

There was a crash as everything fell back to its surfaces. He'd made everything around him levitate for a moment. But he hardly noticed. He was shaking with fury now.

"I NEVER ONCE IN MY LIFE THOUGHT THIS WOULD HAPPEN, GINNY!" he half screamed. "I THOUGHT I'D BE ABLE TO DO WHAT YOU DO! I THOUGHT I WOULD BE ABLE TO FORGET! BUT I CAN'T FORGET! AND YOU WON'T TALK ABOUT IT!"

Ginny was silent, staring at him in shock, looking at him as though she were seeing him for the first time. Harry didn't notice the tears of frustrated rage trembling in his eyes. Not until they fell to the floor, clearing his blurred vision. He swiped angrily at his eyes, struggling to calm down. Once he finally had, he said what he knew he should have weeks ago when the idea first came to him.

"I'm going on a trip. I don't know how long I'll be gone, but I need…I need to get away. I can't be here anymore."

He didn't explain further, but Ginny didn't ask for any more of an explanation. He didn't know how she felt about it and, frankly, he didn't really care. For the past several months, she hadn't tried to understand what he was going through and, to be fair, he hadn't really tried to understand what she was going through either. But something had to change. They couldn't go on this way. And the only thing Harry could think to do was go on his trip.

 _I don't know how long I'll be gone, but I need…I need to get away._

That was true. He didn't know how long he'd be gone and he did need to get away.

He couldn't sit here suffocating in a universe that didn't understand him.

As Harry packed for his trip, shoving the tent he, Ron, and Hermione had used during their hunt for the Horcruxes into his rucksack along with his wand and a couple of books, he thought about Ginny and how different his feelings had been for her before the end of the war. Then, all he could think of was her. She was what kept him going through his search for the Horcruxes and it was her he'd wanted most to protect during the final battle at Hogwarts. But after the war, after Voldemort was dead, after the battle, something inside him changed. At first, he did still feel that way about Ginny. She was what he'd survived for and now he was going to experience a happy life with her. But when she'd suggested they move in together so quick and as their experience of living together became more and more dismal and toxic, his feelings for her dissipated. By the time he was packing for his trip, when he thought of Ginny, he didn't think of her as the love of his life as he once had. He thought of her as his little sister, someone he cared for, but didn't want to be with romantically. Not anymore.

 _I don't know how long I'll be gone._

Harry was slowly beginning to realize that even when he did come back, he wouldn't be coming back here. He cared more about Ginny than that. They both deserved someone who could love and understand them. It had taken him two years, but Harry had come to realize he no longer loved nor understood Ginny. It was time to move on.

He left before the sun was up the next morning. He took his clothes and his things and was gone. There were a few things he left behind, but otherwise it appeared as though only one person lived in that flat. There was no indication that someone else had ever occupied the small space.

Harry Apparated out of the city from an alleyway near the apartment complex to the outskirts of a small village that was just outside the Forest of Dean. It was the first place that came to his mind. He thought of the way the trees had sparkled with snow the last time he'd been there with Hermione and wondered how the forest would look with the trees topped in bright green.

He wondered also how it would feel to be there alone.

He was almost excited at the prospect.

Harry had never been that alone. He'd always been within easy reach of other people, but that would change once he got into the forest. True, he could always Apparate to the village if he needed to see a human face, but for all intents and purposes, when he wasn't in the village, he would be well and truly alone.

As he walked through the village, looking in the tiny shop windows and peering into pubs, wondering at stopping in before heading into the forest, he walked with a lightness that he'd not felt in months. Maybe not ever. He was away from everything he knew. No one here knew his name or who he was. It was freeing. He could do whatever he wanted and no one would ridicule him for it in a newspaper later.

Still, Harry didn't want to go into any of the pubs or shops. He didn't want to risk the end of anonymity. There were wizards everywhere and if there were any in this village, they would recognize him. No, it was best to go straight into the forest. If he needed food later, he knew where this was. He could always Apparate back to steal from their stores. He had his Invisibility Cloak. Maybe he should be worried he was so willing to steal from people who couldn't really stop him, but a part of him felt entitled to it. These people had no idea what he'd done for them to keep them safe. The least they could do was give him some food they wouldn't even miss.

It was the end of March. The leaves hadn't quite come out yet, but he could see buds on the branches of the trees as he walked into the copse of trees not far from the village. There were some wildflowers growing near the bases of the trees as well and in the field between the village and the start of the forest. The forest was huge. It completely covered the horizon and went as far as the eye could see in any direction.

The sight made Harry smile. It was the perfect place to get lost.

 _No one will find me here._

As he thought it, he realized that was what he wanted: to be alone. So alone that no one would figure out where he was, no one would come find him, no one would talk to him. Hedwig was dead, so no one could even send messages to him. He was sure that, if they wanted to, Ron and Hermione _could_ send messages to him, but he had a feeling that once Ginny told them what had happened, they would understand that he wanted time alone and wouldn't bother him. Or so he hoped. Hermione might understand that, but he wasn't as sure about Ron. Ron wasn't good with emotion and, it was turning out, his sister wasn't either. Both of them could only understand what was put in front of them, what they had already experienced. They couldn't understand what they personally had never before encountered.

Harry didn't resent Ron or Ginny for that. It just meant that he couldn't be with Ginny romantically. Not anymore.

The deeper Harry went into the forest, the darker it got, but it wasn't like the Forbidden Forest where eventually the leaves cut out all light completely. It just got a little darker, so it looked as though it were a cloudy day rather than a clear one. It was at about this point that Harry found a clearing and decided to stop there for the night. He set out the tent, trying to remember how Hermione had done it all the times they'd camped out when searching for Horcruxes. After an hour, he finally figured it out and after an hour more, he had caught some fish in a nearby stream and was roasting it over a fire he'd made.

He'd used magic for all of this and it felt freeing doing it out in the open. There was no one here to see him anyway. He might as well do whatever he wanted for as long as he wanted. Who knew how long it would last? A part of him was certain that at any moment he would receive an owl from _some_ body telling him he had to come back to civilization, he had to come back to reality and deal with some new problem that had arisen.

He would go back, of course. He was the wizarding world's savior, now and forever, and Harry Potter couldn't say no when asked to continue saving it. But as he sat there, eating his slightly overcooked fish, staring into the darkness as he watched sparks from his fire fly up to the stars, he wished he could. He was taking a long overdue vacation. By himself. Even for a few days, he thought, they could leave him alone.

Harry ate three fish before he decided he was full. Then he put out his fire and stared up into the dark at the stars. There were so many more here than there were in London. He and Ginny had a balcony in their flat, but every time he'd gone out on it to look up at the stars, he'd only ever been able to see just the brightest ones. Now, out here in the middle of nowhere, he could see them, the bright and dim stars alike. There were more than he'd ever seen before in his life and he was in awe of the dazzling dark.

Harry blinked and remembered vaguely the one time he'd suggested to Ginny they take their broomsticks and fly out into the middle of nowhere, just so they could stare up at the stars. She hadn't thought it was stupid. Not exactly. But she'd made it very clear that it wasn't something she was interested in. He brought it up more than once, trying to convince her of what a fun idea this would be, half obsessed with the thought of it, since it was something he'd never done before. Eventually, she had gotten mean as she'd gotten tired of him asking. That was when he'd stopped.

Later he'd realized it was because she'd seen the stars so much as a child, she didn't see what the big deal was now. The Burrow was far enough out in the middle of nowhere that there were plenty of stars to see on any given night if all of the lights were put out. Even the nearby village couldn't give off enough light to block out the light of the stars. But Harry, who had grown up in the city with the Dursleys, had never seen the stars, not the way Ginny had. So again, she hadn't understood what was so special about them.

A twig broke to Harry's left and he jumped. It was pitch black in the forest now, so dark he couldn't hold his hand up in front of his face and still see it. The moon was not bright enough for that tonight and the stars were bright only in the context of the dark sky around them. That was why he had not noticed how dark it was around him: he'd been staring up at the sky, but now, looking around him, he felt apprehensive. Why had he thought it was a good idea for him, Harry Potter, to go to a forest alone without putting up any sort of protective spells? There were still dark wizards in the world. He was not completely safe. Voldemort supporters still lurked.

Another twig broke and Harry jumped to his feet and pulled out his wand.

"Who is there?"

The forest was silent, betraying nothing. Harry's eyes darted all around, trying to make out something in the darkness, trying to discern who or what had made the twigs crack. Then he heard the leaves rustle and more twigs crack. He whipped his wand around, trying to figure out where exactly the noise was coming from, but still he saw nothing.

Then a white figure emerged from the trees. It looked like a ghost and Harry raised his wand, pointing it at the figure, determined to destroy it should it pose a threat, but then it spoke and the voice it used was one Harry was familiar with, one he hadn't expected to hear out in the middle of nowhere.

"Harry Potter? Is that you?" Luna Lovegood asked. She walked into the dim patch of light shining in Harry's clearing, but it wasn't enough to see more than just the shape of her, just enough to tell her pale white hair was much longer than he'd ever seen it and she was wearing a thin white sleeveless dress with equally thin white straps, hanging it from her thin shoulders.

He watched her tilt her head to one side, but he could see nothing else, no expression. He didn't like it. Not because he didn't trust her, but because he didn't like not being able to see the emotions on anyone. After living with the Dursleys, he'd learned it was important to be able to see what others were thinking to gauge their reactions. He raised his wand, this time away from her, in a less threatening gesture and murmured, " _Lumos_!"

The clearing lit up in the silvery light of his wand and instantly he could see Luna much more clearly.

She looked different than she had the last time he'd seen her. Her white blonde hair was very long and yet, surprisingly clean. He had a feeling she magicked it clean, there was no other way to keep such long hair looking so nice. The dress she wore looked like a sundress mixed with a nightgown. It was made of nightgown-ish fabric, but styled like a sundress. She wasn't wearing any shoes and she appeared to be much thinner than he'd ever seen her, as though she hadn't been eating very much of anything. She looked like a nymph or rather something like a Muggle painter might depict a nymph.

For the first time since he'd met her when he was fifteen, he truly appreciated how beautiful she was.

"What are you doing here?" he asked her before he could stop himself.

Luna, who had been moving slowly towards him, seemed taken aback by the question. She stopped moving and was silent for a long time, but when she spoke again it was not to answer. It was to ask a question of her own: "Are you sure you want to stay in that tent? I have someplace much more comfortable, if you would like."

She smiled then, but it wasn't the smile Harry had seen on her face before. It looked more…defeated was the only word he could think of. And as she turned to lead him to…wherever it was she was staying, her posture and movement suggested defeat as well.

Harry left the tent where it was, doubting that anyone would come upon it and thinking he could come get it in the morning. But that wasn't really what was on his mind as he held his wand aloft for both of them, leading the way through the forest. He found himself focusing more and more on Luna, her appearance, her expressions, her movements. It was all very different from the Luna he'd met when he was fourteen. He wondered when this had changed, if she'd been like this at Hogwarts and he'd just never noticed.

 _Something has happened to her,_ he thought. And then a worse thought came to mind.

 _Someone has hurt her._

And then a strange thought came to mind, one he didn't expect and which hardly sounded like his own. In fact, he felt almost certain the voice wasn't his own and had come to him from some otherworldly source, giving him the information he needed when he needed it.

 _Memories have hurt her. Yes, someone has hurt her, but memories have too._

 _Memories?_ He thought, stepping around a fallen log. All he had were his wand and Invisibility Cloak. _How could memories hurt her this badly?_

But even as he thought it, he knew it was hypocritical. He wouldn't be here if it were not.

* * *

 **NOTE:** ok so! i'm working on this fanfic right now. i'm praying to holy god i finish it. i have no outline for a reason and i'm just writing what comes to me. i have a general idea, but no sort of definitive plan of how to get there. anyway, i hope y'all like this! as always pls read and review!


	2. Flower Cottage

**Chapter Two:** Flower Cottage

The path Luna took through the forest seemed to wind through every inch of it, showing Harry a dark leafy nightscape that he'd never really experienced before. She seemed to know where she was going, though she was taking a long time to get there, but for some reason this didn't bother him. He liked that she was leading him back through the forest her way. It was different. And he was starting to realize how very much he liked different.

Harry knew immediately when they had reached Luna's lodgings. There was a soft glow through the leaves ahead of them and when she finally pushed them aside, he saw another clearing and, in the center of that clearing, a cottage constructed completely from the vegetation of the forest. It almost looked as though it had been grown out of the ground. There were mason jars hanging from thick vines around the frame of the open front door and the open windows (he suspected there really wasn't any glass at all in them, nor had there ever been). Inside the mason jars were fireflies, winking in and out of existence. He couldn't see much of the cottage in the dark and dim light from the moon, but from what he could see, it was made almost entirely of thick dark vines and flowers of every kind.

She walked ahead of him into the cottage itself with him following. She murmured something and light flew from an unseen source in front of her – he assumed it was her wand, though he had not seen it – to gas lamps around the cottage. It was soon lit dimly with flickering yellow flames like the outside was lit by the yellow glow of the fireflies.

The inside of the cottage was not much different from the outside. Because of the dim light and the fact it was still night, Harry could still not see very much of it, but he could see all of the furniture was constructed from the same thick green vines. There was a bunk bed across from the entrance and what looked like a small dining area and kitchen off to the left. He could see what looked like the outline of a refrigerator, the only part of the cottage that was not constructed from green vines and covered in flowers. Similarly, the mattresses and blankets on the beds were actual mattresses and blankets. And the table and chairs sitting near a large window a little way off from the kitchen were made of wood, but it looked like wood that just happened to grow in the shape of tables and chairs. There were still small leaves and twigs sticking out of them. On his right, there was a small living area with two armchairs constructed from green vines and flowers. There was a wooden table between them and on it a lamp. Another something not made of vines.

A part of Harry thought there was probably a lot less constructed from the vines than he could see in the dim light.

He looked at Luna and saw she was already staring back at him.

Feeling uncomfortable with her eyes on him, he looked away again. But Luna only blinked owlishly at him and tilted her head to one side. For a moment, she looked like the girl he'd met on the Hogwarts Express five years ago. Then she blinked again and her wide eyes seemed to shrink, dark circles seemed to appear around them, her face seemed to thin, her entire frame seemed to shrink. Harry realized for the first time that she wasn't overly thin, not dangerously so. Just thinner than she'd been when he'd seen her last. Thin enough that he noticed.

"I made another bed for you," she said, breaking the silence and tearing Harry out of his thoughts. He saw she was gesturing to the bottom bunk.

"But that was already here when we got here," he said half to himself.

Luna only nodded and said, "I know."

She gave no more explanation and he didn't think that even if he were to ask he would get more of one.

She turned away from him and ascended the wood ladder that seemed to be nailed into the bottom frame of the top bunk, disappearing into the darkness at the top where the light did not reach. He saw the blankets on the top bunk moving around as she crawled beneath them. Finally, after several moments they lay still, but he did not move his eyes away from them. He watched her small frame. He could not see the rise and fall of her body in time with her breath from this distance, but he could hear her breathing. He knew she wasn't asleep. She was trying too hard to pretend she was to actually truly be asleep. For a moment, Harry smiled, thinking about it. It took him a moment to realize he thought that was cute. And he didn't even know why.

Pulling himself out of his thoughts, he moved to the bottom bunk and sat down on the edge of it, setting his rucksack down on the floor as he did so. The mattress sank with him. He placed his hand on top of it and pressed on it. It felt like it was full of down. He did the same with his pillow and it felt just as comfortable.

 _How did she do this?_ He wondered.

Not _Where did she get these?_ But _How did she do this?_

Even he noticed the distinction in his mind and he was still unsure as to what it meant.

Taking his hand off the pillow, Harry realized for the first time just how exhausted he was. He hadn't gotten a chance to fall asleep before Luna had come upon him at his tent and he hadn't really thought about how long the walk through the woods from his tent to her cottage was. All he knew was now he felt exhausted. He felt sleep tugging at his eyelids, forcing them to half-mast. He let out a yawn and decided it was time for bed.

He pulled his shirt off and shucked off his pants without really thinking about it before crawling beneath the blankets and closing his eyes.

He was asleep only moments after his head touched the down pillow.

The morning sunlight crept through the windows and spilled over the dirt floor of the Flower Cottage, illuminating it and reflecting off small pebbles pressed into the dirt. The sun moved over the floor to the bunk beds pressed up against the wall and half-shielded from the windows and the morning light by a wall that had a door cut into it, the entrance to the lavatory. However, the light could not stay unnoticed for long and soon Harry found himself groaning and burying his face deeper in his pillow, not wanting to face the day just yet.

For a few more moments, Harry managed to kid himself into sleeping just a little bit longer. Then he could get up and face the day. Ginny had clearly opened the shades in an attempt to get him out of bed early.

Harry's eyes snapped open. The cottage came into a blurry view without the help of his glasses to focus it.

That was right. He'd left Ginny. He was in the Forest of Dean in a cottage Luna Lovegood was currently living in to be exact. A cottage that looked as though it had been grown out of the very ground and was covered in flowers wherever flowers could be spared without getting in the way of whatever else was around it.

At the thought of Luna he realized he heard a soft voice coming from somewhere above him. Throwing back the blankets and pulling on the shirt and pants he'd worn the night before as well as his glasses, Harry got out of bed and inspected the bunk above his, but all he saw were blankets thrown back on a mattress. Luna wasn't there.

Momentarily confused, Harry looked around and saw she was actually above him. In the dark, Harry hadn't been able to see any part of the cottage except what was in front of him and what was illuminated by the gas lamps and the fireflies in the mason jars. Now he could see what he'd missed before: there was a circular perch above him where Luna was sitting. It was ringed by flowers and had a seat just big enough for her. There was a back to is as well, so she could lean back if she wanted.

As Harry stared at her, he noticed several things. The first of which was that she was also wearing her outfit from the night before: the white silken nightgown-sundress. She was also wearing a crown of flowers on her head and surrounding her were several creatures that Harry had only seen in his Hogwarts text books.

Across her lap sat a cat with large ears, a tufted tail, and speckled orange fur. This was a Kneazle. The only other Kneazle Harry knew was Hermione's cat, Crookshanks, and he was only half Kneazle. This Kneazle was clearly a purebred one. It's eyes were closed in what seemed to be contentment and it lay on Luna's lap as though it had been doing so for a long time. On her shoulder was what looked like a hedgehog, but Harry suspected was a brown spotted Knarl – a magical hedgehog. Flitting in front of her was what appeared to be a couple of vivid iridescent blue Billywigs and, to Harry's shock and amazement, what appeared to be an Augurey was perched in front of her as well. She was murmuring softly to the Billywigs, words that Harry couldn't make out, but all of the animals seemed to be watching her with rapt attention, save for the Kneazle, which was napping.

There were some distressed chirping sounds coming from closer to Harry's feet and when he looked down he saw a small family of five Diricawls – small birds with blue plumage and white chests that could disappear and reappear at will. They were all looking up at Luna. Some of them were jumping up and down, flapping their tiny wings that rendered them flightless animals, trying to get her attention. Finally, Luna turned from the Billywigs and Augurey to look down at the Diricawls and, her voice much lighter and airier, closer to what he remembered it being at school, said, "I'll be down in a second. You have to wait for me to finish what I'm doing." Then she turned back to the Billywigs and continued muttering as though she had never been interrupted in the first place. Harry noticed that after she spoke to them the Diricawls seemed to calm down.

"Do you have names for all of them?" Harry asked without thinking about it.

Luna jumped a foot in the air and nearly fell off of her perch. The Augurey made an upset noise and stretched its wings. The Knarl nearly fell off her shoulder as well, while the Kneazle just looked up at her annoyed for having its nap disturbed. The Billywigs in front of her flitted away and a moment later the Augurey did too.

Frowning, she turned to him and said, "You scared them off."

Luna clambered down from her perch, the Kneazle giving an annoyed meow and jumping all the way from her lap to the floor before she'd even finished getting up. It stalked off, sat down and began to clean its fur. She held onto the Knarl, however, as she continued to climb down. The minute her bare feet touched the floor, the Diricawls began hovering around her ankles, making excited chirping noises. She smiled down at them, but didn't speak to them. Instead she looked up at Harry and said, "Of course they all have names. They're my friends."

Turning, she pointed to each of the animals in turn, rattling off their names as she did so. "The Billywigs are Sapphire, Cerulean, and Sky. I named them after blue color names, since that's what color they are. The Augurey is Simon. I don't know why, but it seems to fit him. The Kneazle is my best friend. His name is Tiger-Lily because his fur is so orange. I find the name quite fitting though I didn't know he was a boy when I named him. The Knarl is my other best friend. Her name is Poppy. And the Diricawls are all named after my favorite gemstones: Opal, Peridot, Amethyst, Pearl, and Jasper." She turned back to him, the smile on her face the first genuine one he'd seen on her so far since he'd come upon her in the woods, before she added, "There's a unicorn family in this forest too, but I haven't seen them for a while. And there's freshwater Plimpies in the stream. I usually catch some for dinner. This forest is full of magical creatures."

She seemed to animated, talking about her creature friends and yet, at the same time, he could still see a darkness in her expression as she spoke, something hidden under the surface that he could only guess at.

Hearing about the creatures and their names reminded Harry knew she'd never been good at making friends otherwise. People didn't like her differentness. They didn't like how she said things that were true, but uncomfortably so. Harry didn't mind that about her. In fact, he was finding more and more he liked it, especially when Ginny's main form of communication had been white lies to keep him happy or to conceal the truth of the past.

The Diricawls kept chirping around Luna's ankles. She smiled down at them again and moved from where she was standing to cupboards crafted from vines, hovering above a counter made of them as well. She opened the cupboard and pulled out a small jar filled with what looked to be brown seeds. She poured a handful into her palm, then threw them to the floor. They scattered everywhere, some bouncing off furniture or rolling under it, but the Diricawls went after them, pecking the ground like chickens and gobbling up all of the food they could find. Luna giggled at the sight and Harry looked at her.

The animals made her happy. That hidden darkness was still there – he was slowly beginning to realize it never really ever went away – but he understood now why she'd spent so much time in the Forbidden Forest when they were in school.

The Diricawls continued to scurry around the dirt floor, pecking up food as it went. Tiger-Lily, the Kneazle, had settled himself on a couch made of vines and flowers across from the kitchen and was falling back to sleep. While Poppy, the Knarl, was now sniffing around the top of the dining table, while Luna rummaged in the cupboards in the kitchen. He thought she was getting food ready for their breakfast, but instead she reached into a cupboard and pulled out what looked like a pair of fishing poles.

"It's nearly noon, actually," Luna said, and by way of explanation, looked out the window. Harry followed her gaze and saw that the sun was indeed much higher in the sky than he'd originally thought it was. How had it seemed to early when he'd first woken up? "The trees here obscure the light in odd ways," she added, as though she'd read his mind. "They make it look earlier or later than it really is." She was still staring out the window and tilted her head to one side. She seemed to be staring directly into the sun and he wondered how good that was for her eyesight. "It's hard to gauge the time unless you know how to read the sky."

"Read the sky?" Harry asked before he could stop himself.

Luna only looked at him, nodded, and said, "Yes."

Without another word, she walked out of the cottage. She held one of the fishing poles in her hand. The other was still resting on the counter. Harry gave a small smile. Clearly, he was meant to follow her. He grabbed the fishing pole and did just that.

The forest was might brighter and cheerier in the daytime. The path she took him through to the stream he'd fished in the day before was a lot more uplifting than the path had been through the dark during the night. He saw more animals and magical creatures than he'd ever seen at school or anywhere else. They seemed to be more afraid of him than her and it made him wonder, again, how long she'd been here. Long enough that she had a cottage and the animals in the area weren't afraid of her.

Harry stepped through a last patch of wildflowers and saw the stream he'd fished in when he'd first entered the forest. Without preamble, Luna sat down on the edge of the stream, her legs crossed as she began putting bait on the hook at the end. He sat down next to her and, without a word, she added bait to his hook as well. Then she dipped the hook into the stream, stuck the pole into the ground and leaned back, staring up at the sky. He copied her.

For several moments, they were both quiet, staring at the world around them. Harry saw more Billywigs hovering on the other side of the stream. There was what looked like a Niffler digging into the wet ground around the steam on their side of the bank. He looked into the water and saw fish swimming with the current along with blueberry sized, shaped, and colored creatures. He assumed these were the freshwater Plimpies Luna had been talking about.

He looked at the trees around them. Most of them were large firs, though there were some ash, maple, and oak trees around them as well. When a breeze blew through the forest, the tops of the trees rippled, the leaves waving in the wind. The wildflowers growing around the edge of the bank and in the shrubbery beyond waved in the wind too. Harry felt the breeze flutter the edges of his hair and, out of the corner of his eye, saw Luna's long white-blonde hair blow in front of her face, though she hardly seemed to notice.

"Why did you come out here?" she asked, breaking the silence.

He wasn't expecting the question. Well, he had expected it to come up eventually, but he'd thought that would be later. He'd been under the impression they were under a silent agreement to not talk about why they'd both decided to come to this forest, but he felt he should've known better. Luna tended to ask the questions other people were too afraid to ask. She didn't see any reason with making people reveal their secrets. He half wondered if he shared his story if she would share hers. He didn't think that she would. Not this time. But it was still worth a shot. He was more curious than he was letting on.

"Ginny wasn't understanding me," he said, staring into the silver-blue of the river before him. "She wanted me to just forget everything that happened, forget the war. And…I couldn't. I tried, but I couldn't do it. And because I couldn't do it she got angry with me, she got annoyed and she stopped…I think she stopped loving me. I finally told her I couldn't be with her anymore, that I needed to get away. So I did and came here."

Luna didn't reply. She only nodded again, as though contemplating what he had said. Then she finally said, "Did you love her anymore?"

Harry thought about it for a moment, not really caring all that much that she was asking a very personal question. "No," he said at last. "I didn't love her anymore. She'd become someone else, someone I hadn't fallen in love. Well…actually I don't think that's true. She was always like this. And…after the war, _I_ was the one that changed. Before I _didn't_ want to talk about anything and she didn't either and we dealt with things like that together, but after the war…I realized I _needed_ to talk about things and she didn't like that."

"That's not very kind of her," she said quietly. She was staring at the ground and drawing shapes and patterns in the dirt near the stream. "I guess I never really knew that about her. She always seemed to so open and caring when I knew her."

"She was," he said quickly. "She just…didn't know how to handle me."

"That's really not either one of your faults then, is it," she replied. She looked at him.

The words surprised Harry. He knew that Luna and Ginny had actually been quite close. He'd been Luna originally _through_ Ginny and he realized only now he'd been worried that if he told Luna what happened, she would side with Ginny instead. The fact she didn't made something swell in him. It was more than the affection he'd felt for her before and, when she looked at him, he felt his cheeks turn brick red. He looked away very quickly.

Something tugged on the end of Luna's fishing pole and she pulled it out of the water. Clinging to the end were several of the blueberry-looking creatures.

"Oh, I forgot to bring the water bucket," she said, half to herself, looking around the clearing for what she'd forgotten. "I guess I'll just have to make another one. Harry, can you hold this for a second?" She held out the fishing pole to him and he took it, bewildered at how Luna was going to just conjure up another bucket to hold their catches in when they'd both left their wands back at the cottage. At least, he assumed that's what she'd done with hers. She didn't seem to have it on her.

But she wasn't going to use her wand.

As Harry watched, Luna stood and went over to a nearby tree. She put her hands on it and closed her eyes. Her hands began to glow and as she pulled them away from the trunk of the tree, what looked like a wooden bucket grew out of the bark. When she pulled away completely and opened her eyes, she was holding a bucket in her hands. It looked like the table and chairs and other wooden furniture in her cottage: a few twigs with leaves sticking out on it, but that wasn't really a problem and it wasn't the reason Harry was staring at her, his eyes wide, his jaw open.

She had done wandless magic. She had pulled a bucket out of a tree without a wand, like she'd done it a million times before, like it was nothing. Harry had never seen magic like that, not even from Hermione who was the most accomplished witch he knew. As she stared at the bucket, watching her fill it with water before dumping the first of the Plimpies into it, he realized she'd created the cottage and all of the furniture within as well.

 _How?_

He had no idea how. How on earth could she defy all laws of transfiguration and magic and grow things out of nothing. No magical law worked that way. You had to start with something to get something else. And, he supposed, she had started with the tree for the bucket, but there was nothing that looked even remotely like the cottage in the woods. Nor did it seem like when she'd pulled the bucket out of the tree that any of the tree had been lost with it. How was she doing this? How was she performing magic that he'd previously believed could not even be performed?

"Harry, something is tugging your pole," Luna said, pulling him out of his thoughts.

He blinked several times and turned to his pole. Sure enough, it was being tugged into the water. He pulled it out and dumped the Plimpies on the end into the bucket. He stared at the bucket. How had she made it? He didn't think that was a question that could be easily answered. He didn't know if she even knew the answer. And he didn't know if he would get an answer from her if he asked. This Luna was more guarded than the one he'd met at school.

Again he wondered: _What happened to her?_

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 **NOTE:** ooo the plot thickens! i really wanted to show how much luna loves nature by giving her a flowery cottage and animal friends. the real question is why she's there, but you'll find out soon enough! as always pls read and review! 3


	3. Sparks

**Chapter Three:** Sparks

They walked back to the Flower Cottage several hours later after several hours of mostly silent fishing, Harry carrying the bucket of Plimpies. He'd liked the silence, liked being able to sit there comfortably and know he wouldn't have to say anything to keep Luna happy. He looked up at the sky, realizing wasn't quite sure how much later it was, but the sun had moved drastically and it looked like it was getting close to time for them to cook the Plimpies for dinner, something he was wondering how they were going to do since they didn't have a stove of any kind. The only kitchen appliance he'd seen in Luna's home was a refrigerator that he wasn't sure how it'd gotten there. Had she summoned it? Or had she pulled it from nothing like she'd done with the bucket?

"You can put the Plimpies in the refrigerator, Harry," Luna said, breaking him out of his thoughts as they walked through a last bit of shrubbery and came upon, again, the cottage.

It was a lot prettier in the daylight. He hadn't gotten a chance to really look at it before they left, but now he could see the roof was covered in flowers of every kind he could think of, magical and non-magical flowers alike, combined into one beautiful display. The windows were also ringed in flowers and the front door that was always open was made of the same vines that the rest of the cottage was made of. There was an overhang in front of the door and a bench that sat underneath one of the windows that was made of the same vines as the cottage, but the back of it and the arms were covered in flowers. On the other side of the small deck sat a swing, designed to seat two people. There were chains of vines connecting it to the overhang with flowers spaced at intervals along them. Like the bench, the swing's back and arms were covered in flowers as well.

Flower Cottage was an appropriate name for the place.

Harry entered the cottage and opened the refrigerator. It was mostly empty. There were eggs in the door and a drawer full of vegetables and fruits that he didn't recognize. He wondered if they came from magical trees or the village nearby. There was nothing else inside, so he set the bucket of Plimpies on the bottom shelf, closed the refrigerator, and went back outside to see where Luna had gone.

She was now standing in the center of the front yard of the cottage, throwing armfuls of fallen branches and twigs onto what looked like a circle of ash. It took him only a moment to recognize it as a fire pit and he almost wanted to roll his eyes at himself as he realized they didn't need a stove to cook the Plimpies. They could just roast them over a fire.

Luna kept running back and forth from a place in the trees that Harry couldn't see and returning with her arms full of more firewood. He followed her and saw that she had stacked a bunch of it vertically against a particularly large tree trunk only a few paces into the large shrubs surrounding the clearing. There was so much firewood there that he wondered, again, how long she'd been here. And why. Trying not to think about it, he gathered an armful of firewood of his own and returned to the fire pit, throwing it on top of the pile already there.

Once they had a sizeable pile, Luna stood at the edge of the ash ring and closed her eyes. Trying not to make it too obvious he was watching her, Harry returned to the cottage and looked out the window in the dining area. As he watched, Luna raised her hands and all of the sticks of wood moved so they were pointing directly upwards. She made a triangle, putting only the tips of her fingers together. The wood stacked itself into a teepee. She smiled as she observed her work. Then she moved her hands out of the triangle position and closed her eyes again. She bent down and then stood again, looking as though she were pushing something up from the ground as she did so, but when she reached her full height, flames had erupted in the wood. She smiled again and walked out of sight. When she returned, she was carrying three long sticks of wood and there was a large black cauldron floating along behind her. She set up the sticks so the cauldron could hang from them. Once she was done, she stood back and observed her work again, smiling and headed back into the cottage.

Harry turned quickly away from the window, not wanting her to know he'd been staring, but not before he saw that the fire did not burn the sticks she'd set up to hold the cauldron. She must've made them fireproof. Though he'd turned away from the window, he didn't move very far from it. He leaned against the wall and stared at his feet – which he only just now realized were bare like Luna's – his eyes widened. How could she do this level of magic? It was like nothing he'd ever seen. He'd always believed he was only mediocre when it came to magic, but he knew enough about it to know that, though Hermione was the most talented witch Harry knew, Luna was on another level entirely.

 _What happened to her?_ He wondered again. A part of him wanted to ask her, but that question seemed loaded and rather personal. It also sounded somewhat accusatory, as though he didn't care for who she was now and preferred who she'd been. None of these things were what he meant, but he didn't know how to phrase the question to show her that.

Swallowing hard, he looked up and saw she was in the kitchen now, pulling the bucket of Plimpies out of the refrigerator with some difficulty. The bucket was much heavier than she was strong. She had to bend halfway over backwards to be able to lift it. Without thinking about it, Harry moved forwards and took it from her. "I can take this," he said. "Why don't you get plates?"

Luna seemed surprised by his offer to help her and looked at him as wide-eyed as he'd been looking at his feet only moments earlier. Still, she nodded her thanks and turned to the vined cupboards to pull out the plates hidden within while he turned and headed out towards the raging bonfire outside.

Setting the bucket of Plimpies down on the ground next to the fire, he noticed that there were no stones around it to keep it from spreading, but he figured it staying in one place was accomplished through Luna's magic. He shook his head and stared into the flames, watching sparks fly off the tops of them and into the sky. The sun was still up, but it was starting to make its descent. It was no longer visible in the sky from his vantage point. It was rather early, he'd thought at first, to be making the Plimpies, but seeing the sky now, he realized just how close to evening it was. They were right on time.

Hardly making a sound, Luna came up behind him and set the plates down on the ground along with what looked like a picnic blanket. He opened his mouth to ask what it was for, but she answered before he even had a chance to ask his question.

"I thought it might be nice to eat outside today," she said without looking at him, though still smiling. "It's finally getting warm enough to eat outside during the evening."

Harry didn't reply, but watched as she moved to the large cauldron and, standing just outside of the edge of the flames, began dropping the now frozen Plimpies into the cauldron one by one. He heard them sizzle as they entered the water in the pot and he realized he'd never had freshwater Plimpies in a stew. He'd been promised them once when he'd gone to visit Luna's father for help finding the last Horcruxes, but he'd never actually head it.

Once she'd dropped half the Plimpies into the cauldron, she took the considerably lighter bucket back into the cottage and when she returned she was holding what looked like an overlarge soup spoon. As she began stirring, he found himself smiling and fighting back laughter for the first time in what felt like years. Luna looked so much like a stereotypical witch, stirring the pot that he couldn't help himself. Worried she might not see it that way, however, he turned away.

Trees ringed the clearing the cottage was in. Trees of every kind. A few were obviously magical and he wondered how they'd survived so long in this forest that he knew (because of Hermione) that Muggles camped in? Surely, they'd see the leaves of the trees that shimmered iridescent like opals on the tree with black bark? Or the bushes that had what looked like small floating orange peaches (he knew these were dirigible plums from his visit to Luna's father as well)? Or what about the patches of grass that looked like they'd been cut from jade? The entire forest sparkled like it was full of precious jewels and no one else seemed to notice.

Then it occurred to him that Muggles might not be able to see them. And really it was the only explanation that made sense for why there were still so many magical plants around.

The sky darkened and Harry spread out the picnic blanket to sit on, while he watched Luna continuing to stir the contents of the cauldron out of the corner of his eye. However, he mostly stared into the fire and thought: about Luna and her magical powers that were like nothing he'd ever seen before, about Ginny and the last things they'd said to one another, and about Ron and Hermione, who had no idea where he'd gone and were probably worried about him. A part of him felt guilty for making them worry and another part of him felt like they could deal with it. He'd earned a vacation away from everything. They could handle his absence for a while. Plus, they couldn't worry too much. He'd told Ginny he was getting away. She could relay that information to them if they asked.

"Stew's ready!" Luna announced, pulling Harry out of his thoughts again.

He blinked and looked up. She was holding a couple of bowls and ladling soup into them. He wasn't sure when she'd left to get a ladle and he also wasn't sure when it'd become dark out. Then Luna was walking over to him and sitting down next to him on the blanket and handing him a wooden bowl full of soup with a wooden spoon sitting in the soup already. These looked more well put together than the table inside or the bucket. And he wondered if she'd made these or taken them from someplace in the village.

"It's really good," Luna said, assuming his silence was related to the food. "I know not many people make soup out of Plimpies, but this is my favorite stew. I like the Plimpies back at home better, but – "

She stopped abruptly and froze, her eyes wide as she stared into the fire. She sat perfectly still, her hands clutching the bowl in her hands until her knuckles turned white. For several moments, she didn't even blink, then she did and looked down at the soup in her hands. She balanced it on her knee and began eating, acting as though she'd never said anything at all.

For a moment, Harry looked at her, thinking about asking her about what had just happened, but she seemed to be deliberately avoiding his gaze, seeming to be half praying that he wouldn't ask the question he wanted to.

So he didn't.

He turned away from her and back to his soup, staring at the contents for a few moments, thinking before finally dipping his spoon into it and eating. The soup was a lot better than he'd thought it was going to be and had more ingredients than he'd seen Luna put in the soup. He figured she must've put them in while he was staring into the flames.

They ate in silence. The only sound the clunk their spoons made against the bottom of their bowls until they finished and set the bowls aside. Harry turned his gaze to the tips of the flames again. Now the sparks were flying up into a brilliantly dark sky, speckled with an impressive assortment of stars. He'd never seen this many before. There weren't as many as there had been the night before when Luna had come upon him, but there were enough that it was noticeably more than he ever saw in the city.

"They're beautiful, aren't they?"

Harry nearly jumped when she spoke and turned to look at her.

Luna was staring up and the deep midnight sky, her head tilted to one side, the flower crown he'd seen her in this morning, back on her head. She had her legs bent and had wrapped her arms loosely around them. There was the most relaxed smile he'd seen yet on her face. The darkness was hardly noticeable now. Only when the flames flickered just right could he see how gaunt and worn she appeared. She did a good job of hiding it when she didn't want him to see.

Turning his gaze back up to the stars, he replied, "Yeah, they are." He was silent for a few moments before he added, "Ginny didn't ever find them as impressive as I did. But…she grew up out in the middle of nowhere. She probably got to see them all the time."

"I think the stars are beautiful always," Luna replied, her gaze not wavering from the sky. "I don't think I could ever get tired of looking at them."

The words made that something he'd felt this morning with her at the stream swelled in him again and he looked at her again. Her hair blew gently in the wind and she turned to look at him, the smile that was on her face lingering. Then she blinked, seeming to come back to herself and it vanished. She looked away from him quickly, seemingly embarrassed and glanced towards the cottage, but didn't make to move away from him.

Harry continued to stare at her through all of this and then, without meaning to and before he could stop himself, he asked, "Luna, why are you here?"

The silence that followed the question was so absolute he felt immediately horrible for asking it. He opened his mouth to take it back, but he could not bring himself to. He really wanted to know the answer to this question and he'd been going to ask it sooner or later. So why not sooner? He might as well get it over with.

Luna had frozen in place again, just as she had when she'd almost revealed the reason for coming here and again Harry felt bad. He'd reminded her of something she wanted to forget. Which made him wonder if the reason she'd come had something to do with her family. As far as he knew, she'd gone back to live with her father after the war. He hadn't heard from Ginny what had happened after that and he'd had a hard time staying in touch with anyone he didn't see all the time. Now he wished he had. Maybe if he had, he would know why she was here now.

As he'd thought, Luna didn't answer him. She just grabbed her bowl off the ground as well as his and returned to the cottage, her mouth pressed into a thin line, her eyes wide and frightened. Harry felt worse than ever for asking the question.

 _When she wants to tell you, what happened she will,_ a voice whispered in his mind and he knew it was right. She would tell him when she wanted to, if she wanted to. And if she never did that was her choice and he shouldn't be trying to force information from her that she wasn't outright willing to give.

Harry didn't immediately go back into the cottage. He stayed outside, lying back on the black, his hands under his head as he stared up at the star speckled sky. The bonfire burned lower and lower the longer he stayed out there until it was merely embers and he could see the stars better than ever.

Despite not having gotten very far in Muggle school, Harry knew all the constellations he could see above him. Astronomy was a required subject at Hogwarts. He stared into the heavens and pointed out the constellations to himself. There was Castor, Pollux, Cassiopeia, Orion, Andromeda, Ursa Major, Ursa Minor, Sirius.

He swallowed hard. Just thinking his godfather's name was still hard. It'd been years since his death and it still destroyed him, thinking about everything they could've had together. He'd known him for two years before he was taken from him. And it'd been his fault too. If he'd just listened to Hermione or Snape or Dumbledore and learned Occlumency or realized that Voldemort was trying to manipulate his thoughts and memories, none of what had happened afterwards would have happened at all.

A part of him thought that maybe it was a good thing everything had happened the way it did, but a larger stronger part of him wished it had never happened at all. Maybe if Sirius had lived, things would be different. Maybe he never would've gotten with Ginny to begin with and been able to avoid all of this heartache. Or maybe he and Ginny could've been better for each other, more compatible. Either way, he would never know, the past was over and done with aand he couldn't change it no matter how much he wanted to. And, not for the first time, as he got ready for bed that night, long after she'd gone to sleep, he wondered if Luna was having a similar battle.

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 **NOTE:** WOW this one has three long chapters and i'm actually working on a fourth! awesome! anyway, i've decided to update every 10k words or so, so the next time this will be updated will be when i've reached about 20k words. enjoy what's here for now! and as always pls read and review!


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